Shattered Glass Diary
by justfaye
Summary: I had a terrible past which nobody knew, now i was finally given the chance to start anew... will someone come and save me? Give me love and protect me? Minako and Kunzite in an alternate universe story: how will love come their way?


Definition of Terms (for those who doesn't know yet)

_Ecchi_- indecent, lewd

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FIRST ENTRY: GOODBYE YESTERDAY

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THE BEAUTIFUL CHILD OF LOVE BLOG**

April 2

Finally, after years of studying hard and working my best, now I could finally go out of the country. I'm very happy that JAL took me as an employee in their main office in Tokyo.

I love my family and all but I think I needed this… some way to start anew. I've packed my things, trimmed my perfectly blonde hair, and said my goodbyes to my friends and relatives… Yes, I did meet with my relatives AGAIN. Just like every year. I just had to suffer twice because I had to meet him for the second time this year.

Honestly, I still find it really hard to talk to him; even just standing near him makes me sick! He even kept on acting as if nothing happened. Was it possible? Could he really forget everything? I knew he was just about seven then and I was five. Come to think of it, how did a boy of seven learned to do such ecchi stuff? I kept asking myself this for about a thousand times now— still I could not find any answer. All I know is that for more than two decades in my life I'm completely ignorant whether I'm still a virgin or not.

I couldn't stand mingling and talking to everyone as if nothing happened… it's not that they KNEW what happened. But I couldn't help but feel a little hurt whenever I remember the day I learned that what HE was doing to me was not just a child's game. I think I was about seven when I saw him doing the same with another, older, cousin of ours. Then I heard them talking about not telling anyone about it because they knew it was disgusting, immoral and wrong. During one of our games together, I told our older GIRL cousins that he kissed me, afraid that if I said anything further I'd be treated as some disgusting child… but they didn't believe me. They said it was just natural for cousins to do that.

NO ONE believed me. For the first time in my life I felt dejected… at an early age of seven, I felt totally lost… as if someone took something from me… I had been scared to love and trust a guy since then.

I was happy when I was able to make guy friends in school. I actually became one of the boys. I liked befriending them because if that's the case then I could be sure that whatever skin ship would be entirely pure and innocent— or so I thought until one by one those guy friends started to confess (not all but several of them). They were the same kind of specie I supposed.

If I hadn't read that newspaper when I was in high school I'm probably some slut fooling around instead of a seriously working, single girl. I'm not sad really… just a little lonely at times, especially when I see my friends get married one by one. How could I be like that? I don't think any guy could take me as I am. I'm dirty. I don't even know if I am STILL clean. If it weren't for the thought that I'm not the only one, (yes there are others like me! I've read it in the advise-seeking page of the newspaper) I would have given up on my morals. But no. There are some others who felt the same way as I did… as I do. I should be strong and get a grip of myself.

Tomorrow I'll be on Tokyo. I'll be living on a house with some co-workers that the company lent to us. I guessed it would be okay. It WILL be, just as long as I distance myself from any guy.

I kind of wonder… will I ever find a guy who would take me as I am? Someone who will not get tired of me after so many years? Was it just a wishful thinking to actually hope for a LOVE that'll last until death? I hope not… but I kind of feel uncertain as well. If THAT guy does show up, how would I respond? How could I make it right? How will I overcome this sense of danger and hurt?

Help me GOD! I really do want to say goodbye to yesterday. I wanted, for so long, to not just only smile for the others to see… I also wanted to be truly HAPPY.

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_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story gives me some kind of sadness whenever I think about it, but yes, it is inspired by a TRUE STORY of someone I knew. (Inspired only, the story's all mine to make)**_

_**I thought of having Minako and Kunzite in this because aside from the fact that they're my most favorite SM couple, they kind of perfectly fit the characters… hope you like this alternate universe story…**_

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